What have I done to deserve existance?
All life ever has been is resistance.
Do I enjoy being caught in the middle?
Because my family cares very little.
I never could have imagined this deal.
Nothing else matters but having a meal.
It's ashame how my mom resents me so.
Since I won't play in her drama show.
Only I'm supposed to forget everything,
And learn to love an untrustful being.
Glad that I learned to resent my father.
Since he's too stoned to care or bother.
It's nice dad wishes I was never here,
And pleas for his daughter to live near.
If I don't wander away from here to die,
I might spend money that gets them high.
If I only kept out of my mom's business,
I might not despise her for all of this.
What more am I then a few dollars a week,
That your weed dealer would rather keep?
How can you pretend to know me so well?
How can you not notice that I am in hell?
You just think that everything is alright,
When I soak my pillow in tears at night.
Everything I've done in these few years,
Is run away from my one deepest fear.
So I'd take the bit of time I had to pray.
I will never be like my parents one day.
My own family can call me a fucken freak.
Though I'll always call them a mystery.
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