You were the reason that made me try,
Now you motivate me I just need to die.
The gun is to my head every waking day,
I have heard every lie there is to say.
Searching for more in life is the goal,
Disposed is my life as well as my soul.
I can't love you if I don't love myself,
You can't love me out of a lack of help.
Everything happens for reasons I'm told,
There is no evidence of such I can hold.
To live this life, all I can do is try,
Happiness is my life's little white lie.
It seems like misery has me hand-picked,
Would I be happier as some drug addict?
If life is really just full of deja vu,
Do I deserve this suffering times two?
I look back at the misery I've sustained,
With many enemies and few friends gained,
I look deep in a shallow future and pray,
My whole life won't be fucked up this way.
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