Excuses - 12/25/05

No excuses left to explain, That everything is alright. Lying doesn't cure the pain, That recurs every night. It's eighty degrees today, Inside I am freezing cold. I've always felt the same, And it's gotten really old. The drugs on which I rely, To keep feeling in my body, Are all that keep me alive, But they're low on quantity. Motivation is hard to grasp, If feeling is not allowed. I'm tired of being the last, To have reason to be proud. I don't need another excuse, To stay clean yet optimistic. Afterall I only seem to lose, Touch with where my life is. Your ridicule has no point, When I have done no wrong. This wasn't my own choice, Having nothing for so long. I don't want to be this way, When your life is perfect. Nothing you will ever say, Can make my life worth it. You waste more than I will, Ever have in my possession. I know all that you had still, Will not fix my depression. Still you throw it at my feet, Expecting me to praise you. It only helps me better see, How little you amount to. I don't excuse myself just, To make up for what I lack. I gave you all I had in trust, And now I want it all back.